A whril wind of updates

Life is pretty darn sweet, considering it’s a bitch.

Ocd, has me on a rollercoaster. I am worrying about normal to me things like being around kids, animals and old people, but it also has me doing some confessing and worrying about details of certain events. Silly mind, I want a new brain. I want to be home with my neices and nephews, but ocd makes it so hard.

I dreamt about mom again last night, It has been awhile. Thankfully, it was fairly pleasant. It is nice to have her visit my dreams, but it brings up a wide range of emotions. I think about her daily, and find myself searching my face book to see her comments. She was such a smartass and never failed to put a smile on my face.

I have started a new business adventure. While I am still doing “SS” (removed name for privacy reasons) , it is time for a change and something different. SS is now finally back on track since I’ve returned from Cape Breton in August. My schedule is full, I like my clients and I feel good when I leave. However, I am not content with what I am doing with my life.

While at a recent franchise show I only found one business that interested me. Perhaps I was a little biased, as I was addicted to their product. Gourmet coffee vending machines. After attending some of their information sessions, having interviews and getting approved for a loan, it felt right to go ahead and pursue this. New business name : JJE (removed actual name for privacy reasons). Our Machines arrive at the end of the month, and I feel very positive about this. While Anthony was very much into this idea, he is the one that is stressing over the what if’s. What if it was a bad idea financially? Its funny, considering my history with anxiety, worrying and doubting…. I don’t worry about anything rational. Besides my ocd, people tell me I am the most laid back person they know. Frankly, I believe that everything works out in the end. Worst case scenario, it was a silly idea and were out a shitload of money, but we will live ;). Maybe its because I am feeling pretty confident now.

Roller Derby. I have had an interest in roller derby for a few years now, but could never find anything local. Halifax now has a league and they are accepting new no experienced needed players. Finally, after a lot of procrastinating based on fear, I now have roller skates and all the gear needed. I have been on them twice so far. Once inside, once outside. I hurt from falling, I feel very discouraged and I am definitely unsure I can do this. BUT, I refuse to give up yet. Worst case scenario, I am a shitty skater and can’t do derby. I tried and that’s what matters. Its fantastic exercise, and as long as I don’t break anything, its all good fun.




Yes, it can be a rough sport, but with proper gear and training its fairly safe. Just like any other sport, except you have hot chicks in fishnets, banging into each other using vulgar language, and fun hair. I fit right in ;). The ladies are amazing, and I doubt you could meet a nicer group of people. Seeing them is making me crave more tattoos and piercings. Dad may just disown me…… hehe.

Speaking on tattoos, I am putting together a piece in memory of mom. When mom was first diagnosed with breast cancer, my whole family decided we would get a tattoo to show the love we have for her. It was a simple butterfly, with the breast cancer ribbon in the middle as the body. We will still be getting that one, however, I want something bigger. A portrait perhaps, with her butterfly story. I must remember to post the butterfly story she wrote. Mom loved butterflies, not only because of their beauty, but because what they stood for. The change. She was a butterfly. We all are. “What a caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly” - Richard Buckminister.

I would love to update you all on my weightloss, but there is nothing to report. Total failure in that department, but with the skating being introduced, it should change. I am eating a bit healthier though… maybe… kind of… sorta?

How are you all doing?