I haven’t blogged in months because I didn’t know what to say. I don’t want to sound to depressing, but I need an outlet. Cancer fucking sucks.
Shortly after Christmas, my mother, 57, was diagnosed with breast cancer that spread to the brain. The diagnoses has varied since then, and the expectations we had with this type of cancer changed drastically. Regardless , it isn’t good. I am uncomfortable giving details in public out of respect for my family, and I am unsure if I could get into the details. It seems to be easier to leave them at the back of my mind.
Since then, life has been up in the air. For the past 6 months I have been back and forth from Halifax to Cape Breton. I told myself, and discussed with Anthony, that if mom was given 6 months to live, I was dropping everything an moving home. Needless to say, I am home in CB.
I am still trying to get the details out. The cancer details. Life’s details. My Life’s details.
For those that don’t know, I have a small residential cleaning business. For the most part, I dropped it. When I return every few weeks I try to fit some clients in. Most clients have been very understanding. I am amazed at some of my friends for not understanding why I am doing this. They don’t seem to understand that I am not really leaving my life behind to be with my mom in Cape Breton, but THIS IS MY LIFE. I couldn’t imagine not being here. My family is everything.
So, why have I been so quiet since Christmas?, well, now ya’ll know . : )
Remember no sympathy, just hugs and words of wisdom.
Well, I knew before this...lol...but the next time you are in town, we ARE doing the beach got it! We did it in Cape Breton for ya, and we'll do it here..minus the snakes. ;)
ReplyDeleteWords of wisdom..hmm..you have your priorities straight hun, so as far as your 'friends' not understanding, sounds like they are being selfish and cold hearted. There are some of us that know what is going on...and totally understand, and will always be there for you. And you know you will always get hugs from me!!!
A true friend should know that your family always comes first. You only get one mother in this lifetime.
ReplyDeleteBe true to who you are and the rest will follow. Stay strong Amy - I'm sure your smiling face is just what your mom needs.
Life, business, working will all be there later. Your mom will not. You will never look back and regret dropping everything for your mom You will always be glad you made that choice. And if I was your mom I'd be glad you were there for me.
ReplyDeleteJust remember to take a bit of time to take care of yourself too. Caring for a loved one can be exhausting on so many levels.
Share what you feel comfortable sharing.
You're right.
Cancer sucks.
Consider yourself hugged.
Sybil
Amy, just wanted to let you know I was thinking of you and your mum and wondering how things were going.
ReplyDeleteHugs,
Sybil