Suicide

Suicide.

Yes, the forbidden topic.

No one wants to talk about it. No one wants to admit that they get suicidal thoughts or secret plans of how they would go through with it.

Yet, when people get brave enough to talk about it, they are usually ignored or dealt with in an inappropriate fashion that doesn’t seem to help.

Everyone is unique and their mental stability varies , as does our thought process. There are also numerous reasons some people resort to thinking about, attempting and committing suicide.

Let me be very honest. When my ocd and depression got so bad as a kid, I wanted nothing more then to be dead. Especially when my ocd focused on me being a terrible person. I was convinced that I was evil and should not exist. I felt I was a danger to society. My ocd convinced me of such. Still to this day, when my head starts racing with terrible ocd thoughts, and I’m so depressed I can’t think straight, suicidal thoughts surface. Obliviously, I have never attempted or committed suicide. Thankfully I’m still here. Fortunately, When I do have my breakdowns, I never loose my whole grasp on reality. I know deep down that suicide will not solve anything. I have to much to loose, to many people who love me, and that there is always some shrink out there that can fix me. (Even if in the moment, I feel like I have nothing, like everyone hates me, and that I’m just plain fucked).

Chemical imbalance can cloud one’s judgement and muffle decisions. Most people who attempt or commit suicide have an emotional or mental disorder. Mainly those with depression or bipolar disorder. But also those with drug or alcohol addiction and financially difficulties.

Most people who commit suicide, don’t want to die, they just want the hurt to go away.

We can’t say that those who commit suicide are cowards, because most will never know what they are going through. Imagine feeling so lost, and unable to think rationally. Nor can we justify suicide. We need to speak openly about suicide without judgment so those who need the help can feel comfortable reaching out.



Common Warning Signs of suicide

Signs of depression or feelings of hopeless
Lack of interest, or energy. Also drastic changes in energy level
Changing in eating habits, appearance or sleep patterns.
Any dramatic changes in behaviour, actions or attitude
Dropping out of hobbies, sports, jobs
Talking about death
Talking about suicide
Joking about dying and suicide.
A previous suicide attempt
Talking about or making a suicide plan
Risk taking behaviour. ( drinking excessively, driving recklessly, drug use, unsafe sex…)
Writing goodbye letters and giving away prized possessions


What to do when someone you know might commit suicide.

SPEAK UP. Pretending and hoping it won’t happen doesn’t help. Soceity lets to much stuff go unnoticed. Suicide is real. Help save a life!

When there is immediate danger, call 911.

If you can convince someone to go to the ER, get them there. Most emergency rooms deal with this fantastically. You simply tell the triage what is going on.

Hrm has a great mobile crisis team. They are trained to deal with any mental crisis, including suicide. They will even come to you. Local :429-8167 or toll free:1 888 429 8167

Regardless how in-depth they are with you about suicide, they need to talk with someone who is trained in that area. A family dr can offer some assistance , and also refer her/him to someone who can help. However, this sometimes takes a few months.

There is also the option of finding a psychologist privately. www.apns.ca/findpsych.html


Google searches can be quite helpful. Always feel free to contact me through here, face book, or email if you have any questions that I might be able to help you with.

Why a Pitbull?

Why a PITBULL?

I get asked that question on a regular basis. My answer- “Why Not?”!
Growing up we had poodles and muts. Don’t get me wrong, they were adorable, But they weren’t my kind of dog. I didn’t know a whole lot about “pitbulls” before we decided to look at Soleil, but I certainly did my fair share of research on the breed before convincing Anthony , and purchasing Soleil.

Since Soleil came into my life, I have never felt more complete. My interest in dogs as a species, in training, in behaviour, especially in bully breeds has perked. I could read articles and books all day just to educate myself on how to help this mis-understood breed.

I don’t do drugs, I am not a drug dealer, I work for a living, I don’t steal. I don’t have a gun, I don’t live in a bad part of town, and my pants don’t hang off my knee’s. Yet, I still have a Pit-bull. Imagine that! There are tons of us out there! Unfortunately, dumb ass chicken shit’s get Pit Bull’s for the Badass status. They hurt the breed’s reputation. Along with the other idiots that leave little kids alone with dogs. Soleil is amazing with kids. She was born and played with by kids until we purchased her at 8 weeks. As soon as we got her, we had her around kids of all ages. She loves to give them kisses, eat their ice cream and just sniff them. Regardless, she is an 80lb, very powerful dog, who , when playing rough, or just walking by, could certainly damage a child. On top of that, kids aren’t usually taught the correct way to handle a dog. Numerous things could set a dog off, and its incredibly important for an Adult to know and recognize these signs. The key is to prevent accidents. Never allow for them to happen!

My goal when purchasing Soleil was to change the view most have on Pitbulls! I realised how hard that was going to be when she was sleeping in my arms at 9 weeks, while I was in a petstore purchasing a collar. A family came up, ohhing and ahhhing over her and started patting her without permission. They wanted to know what kind of dog it was, how old is waserwc where we got her. As soon as I said “ This is Soleil. She is an American Pitbull Terrier”. The jaws dropped and they jumped back knocking the shelving unit behind them over. The mother was horrified “ Does she bite”?

Yes, she is a vicious dog at 9 weeks old. Yes she bites, that’s why she attacked you when you were all patting her. I was annoyed to say the least. Being naïve, I didn’t realise that this just the beginning of my journey of defending the breed.d

American Pit Bull Terriers are incredibly easy to train if they have an educated, responsible leader. We certainly have some problems with Soleil, but we never once hesitated to ask for help from a professional.

Their strength, their body and the way they move never bores me. I could watch them play and interact for hours. Yes, they were bred for bull baiting and dog fighting, yet, they can certainly interact with each other and humans in such a gentle way. My favourite thing about them is their whole body wag and their smile. They are always so happy!

So, why a pitbull? Come meet my pooches and ask “Why not?!”

Family Matters

Some day, I will write a book about my family. It will cause tears of both sadness and joy, it will cause shock, intense interest, and most likely a roller coaster of emotions.

I am sure most families are dysfunctional. I always laugh out loud at movies and books when there is a crazy family that reminds me of mine.

As kids we would answer the phone “ Crazy House”, “Nut House” and “Funny Farm”. When there is a house full of six children, what else could you call it? There was never a quiet moment. Someone was always in trouble. Someone was always crying. Someone always hated someone. But at the end of the night from all the bedrooms you would hear someone start the yell out ritual :

“Night everyone, Love you!”

If someone didn’t respond, there would be another yell

“Goodnight Dad, Love you!” “Laura, I said goodnight, love you”

I couldn’t sleep until everyone knew that even though I yelled at them an hour ago, and told them how much I hated them, that I truly did love them.


My family is everything to me. Living away, I am not as close to them as I wish I could be. I can never wait to go home to Cape Breton, and then after a weekend or a week filled with my chaotic family, I can’t wait to get back to Halifax for some peace and quiet. However, after just 15 minutes of driving back home, I miss them already.

My family certainly isn’t boring. There is always something exciting going on. Sure, events are hectic. Usually tears, but ALWAYS laughter. Always memories and Always Love!